How to Become A Better Authoritative Parent?

It’s no secret that parenting is hard. There are so many things to worry about and keep track of, from ensuring your kids are eating right and getting enough exercise to helping them with their schoolwork and teaching them how to behave in social situations. But one of the most important—and challenging—aspects of being a parent is learning to be an authoritative parent. This guide will help you become the best authoritarian possible so that you can raise happy, healthy children who know how to behave appropriately at home and out in the world.

What Makes A Parent Authoritative?

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Every family is different, and every child is unique, so there’s no single “right” way to parent. However, certain qualities tend to be associated with successful parenting. One of the most important is authority.

An authoritative parent is someone who is both nurturing and supportive yet firm in their limits and expectations. They explain rules and expectations to their children and listen to their children’s perspectives before making decisions. This parenting style can be effective because it shows children that their parents are responsive and care about their opinions, yet ultimately the decision rests with the parents.

It’s important to note that being an authoritative parent doesn’t mean being a strict or unyielding disciplinarian. Instead, it’s about finding a balance between being supportive and setting clear boundaries. If you can see this balance, chances are you’ll be an effective and successful parent.

What Is an Example of an Authoritative Parenting Style?

Let’s say a young boy draws on the walls with crayons. His authoritative parents would dish out a fair punishment that fit the nature of the transgression. They might make him wash the walls himself, or they might take away his crayons for some time. The point is that the punishment would be tailored to the crime and delivered calmly and reasonably. On the other hand, if the boy’s parents were permissive, they might just shrug their shoulders and let him off with a warning. Or, if they were authoritarian, they might give him a severe punishment disproportionate to the offense. In either case, the child would not learn that his actions have consequences. But with an authoritative parent, he would know that there are natural consequences to his actions, and he would be more likely to make better choices in the future.

How to Develop an Authoritative Parenting Style?

Authoritative parenting is one of the most popular parenting styles, but it can be tough to know how to implement it. Here are some tips on becoming an authoritative parent and help you develop a strong relationship with your child. Keep in mind that every child is different, so what works for one may not work for another – but these tips should get you started on the right path!

Listen to Your Child

One of the key ingredients in authoritative parenting is listening to your child. This doesn’t mean that you always give in to their demands, but it does mean taking the time to understand their perspective and feelings when making decisions. Listening can help build trust and communication between you and your child, making it more likely that they’ll follow your rules.

Validate Your Child’s Emotions

As a parent, it’s only natural that you want your child to be happy. But in our haste to sweep away the sadness, anger, or fear, we may inadvertently invalidate our child’s emotions. This can cause them to doubt their feelings and instincts, setting the stage for a lifelong struggle with emotional intelligence.

The good news is that by learning to validate your child’s emotions, you can help them develop into a well-adjusted adult. When you take the time to listen to and understand their feelings, you’re conveying that their emotions are valid and important. This helps them to trust their instincts and builds their confidence. In addition, you model appropriate emotional regulation by responding calmly and rationally to their emotions. As they see you managing your emotions effectively, they’ll learn how to do the same. Ultimately, by validating your child’s emotions, you can help them develop into a confident and emotionally intelligent adult.

Consider Your Child’s Feelings

This parenting style is based on considering your child’s feelings and needs while setting clear expectations and limits. It can be tough to strike the right balance, but considering your child’s feelings is an excellent place to start. When you take the time to understand how your child is feeling, it shows that you respect them as an individual. This can go a long way toward developing a strong, healthy relationship with your child. In addition, considering your child’s feelings can help you be more understanding and flexible when setting limits and expectations.

Establish Clear Rules

One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to establish clear and consistent rules for your children to follow. This will help develop an authoritative parenting style characterized by high expectations and clear limits. When children know what is expected, they are more likely to meet those expectations. Furthermore, clear rules can help to prevent behavioral problems from developing in the first place. By taking the time to establish clear rules, you can set your children up for success both now and in the future.

Offer One Warning for Minor Issues

As any experienced parent knows, kids are going to make mistakes. It’s part of growing up. But that doesn’t mean you have to punish them for every little thing they do wrong. Instead, try offering one warning for minor issues. This means you don’t jump the gun and dish out punishment for minor mistakes. Instead, you give your child one warning that they will be punished if they don’t correct the behavior. This helps to develop an authoritative parenting style, where your child knows that you’re in charge but also that you’re reasonable and fair. Plus, it’ll save you a lot of time and energy in the long run!

Use Consequences That Teach Life Lessons

Every parent wants their child to grow up to be a responsible, independent adult. However, raising a child prepared to face the challenges of adulthood is not always easy. One way to help your child develop the skills they need to be successful in life is to use consequences to teach life lessons. For example, if your child neglects their chores, you might withhold their allowance. By doing this, you are teaching them the importance of responsibility and the value of hard work. Similarly, if your child breaks a rule, you might impose a consequence that requires them to take ownership of their actions. By using consequences that teach life lessons, you can help your child develop an authoritative parenting style that will serve them well into adulthood.

Offer Incentives

Incentives can be a helpful tool in developing an authoritative parenting style. Positive reinforcement is a key element of this approach, and offering rewards for good behavior can effectively encourage positive behavior. Of course, it is important to offer incentives that are appropriate for the child’s age and development level. For younger children, simple rewards like stickers or praise can be effective. For older children, more tangible incentives like privilege coupons may be more motivating. Incentives are just one tool that can help parents develop an authoritative parenting style, but when used effectively, they can be a powerful tool in shaping positive behavior.

Let Your Child Make Little Choices

As any parent knows, children can be very wilful creatures. They often seem to want nothing more than to defy authority and test the limits. However, allowing children to make small choices can help develop an authoritative parenting style. By letting kids have a say in things like what they wear or eat, parents can teach them the value of making wise choices. In addition, this type of parenting helps to foster independence and responsibility. As children learn to navigate the world of options, they will also develop a better understanding of right and wrong. Ultimately, giving kids the chance to make little choices can go a long way towards developing an authoritative parenting style.

Balance Freedom With Responsibility

While it’s important to encourage kids to be independent and free-thinking, they must also understand the importance of responsibility. After all, without a sense of responsibility, freedom can quickly turn into chaos. An excellent way to instill a sense of responsibility in your children is to model it yourself. Be consistent with rules and expectations, and follow through on consequences. Explain why it’s important to be responsible and give your kids opportunities to practice being responsible in small ways. As they get older, you can give them more freedom as long as they continue to show that they’re taking responsibility for their actions. You can help your children develop into balanced, responsible adults with little effort.

Turn Mistakes Into Learning Opportunities

When our children make a mistake, instead of getting angry or frustrated, we need to take a step back and see it as an opportunity to teach them a valuable lesson. By calmly explaining what they did wrong and how they can fix it, we can help them learn from their mistakes and avoid making the same ones in the future. In this way, we can develop an authoritative parenting style that is both effective and loving. Our children will be better off for it in the end.

Encourage Self-Discipline

If we can encourage self-discipline in our children, it will go a long way towards developing an authoritative parenting style. When our kids are given some responsibility for their behavioral control, it starts a self-check system where the child is aware of their tendencies for bad behavior. If this successfully becomes a habit and as they get older, they will be better equipped to handle the challenges that life throws their way.

Maintain a Healthy Relationship With Your Child

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As a parent, it’s important to maintain a healthy relationship with your child. After all, you’re the adult, and they’re the kid. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. In fact, maintaining a healthy relationship with your child is one of the best ways to develop an authoritative parenting style. When you’re friends with your child, you can set boundaries and expectations without appearing bossy or overbearing. You can also offer guidance and support without being too intrusive. And when you’re on good terms with your child, they’re more likely to listen to you and follow your rules. So if you want to be an authoritative parent, start by being a good friend to your child.

Becoming an authoritative parent is not easy, but with a little patience, you can be successful. The hardest part is breaking old habits and being consistent and strict with yourself, but it’s important to be understanding towards your child. Remember, every child is different, so what works for one may not work for another. What have been your biggest challenges as an authoritarian parent? Share them in the comments below or on social media to help other parents



I'm a Mom of two daughters, Freya and Ava. I love to share insights on how parents can be better parents. I write about topics that are relevant to me as a parent: things like parenting style, relationship, marriage, and balancing work and family.

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