How to be the Perfect Mum (Even if You’re Totally Screwed Up)

What does it take to be a perfect mum? According to the movies and TV shows, you need to have a spotless house, be able to cook gourmet meals, have adorable children who never misbehave, and always look put together. As if that isn’t hard enough, you’re also supposed to be a superwoman and do it all while working outside the home.

If you ask me, no one is perfect — including mothers. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’re screwing up, don’t worry! You’re not alone. We all feel like we’re not doing a good job sometimes. But being a mum is a lot of hard work, and it’s important to learn as much as possible about being the best mothers we can be. This blog post will explore what it takes to be a perfect mother, even if you feel like you’re totally screwed up!

No one ever said parenting was easy.

family spending time together (2) (1)

There is no doubt that parenting is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever have to do. It seems like there’s always something new to learn, and no matter how often you think you’ve got it all figured out, your kids will undoubtedly prove you wrong. From the never-ending cycle of diapers and feedings to temper tantrums and teenage angst, raising a family is certainly no walk in the park.

Being a parent — or a mother, for that matter — is often described as the most challenging job you’ll ever love. It’s 24/7, 365 days a year, with no days off, vacation, or sick days. You are constantly on call, and even when you’re “off duty,” you’re still thinking about your children. Even when your kids are grown up and out of the house, you’ll still worry about them daily. You worry about their health, their happiness, and their future. In short, you are responsible for another human being, which is a huge responsibility.

It’s always a struggle to strike a balance between protecting your kids and letting them get out there and learn from their mistakes. It’s easy to assume that it’s our fault or that our children are making things difficult for us. However, we fail to recognize the unrealistic demands placed on us. Society expects us to be perfect mothers, but the reality is that there is no such thing. We all make mistakes, and that’s okay. Our children will learn from them just as we did. So, if you’re feeling like you’re not doing a good job, just remember that you’re important.

Remember — you are important, mum.

Mothers play a crucial role in every family. We give birth to new life, teach our kids how to be kind and caring, and provide a never-ending supply of love and support. We are the glue that holds things together.

I already have kids of my own, but my mum is always someone I can go home to whenever I need a safe place to be the screw-up I am. I love my mum, even though she can sometimes be a pain in the neck. She’s always been there for me, whether I needed a shoulder to cry on or a boot in the rear to get me moving. I can’t imagine my life without her, and I’m sure many people feel the same way about their mothers — including your kids.

First, be a mother.

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The most important thing you can do to be a perfect mother is to be a mother. It seems simple, but it’s true. Being present, loving, and supportive is the best way to be a mother. It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing anything right. But the thing is, even when you’re screwing up, your kids still love you. They look up to you, and they learn from you. Even when you’re at your worst, you’re still their hero.

You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to try your best. Just as importantly, you need to give yourself some grace. No one is perfect, and being a mother is hard work. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Just remember that your love for your children is the most important thing. You’re doing a great job if you can show them that every day and be there for them.

Being a good mother is perfect.

So, how can you be the perfect mum? Well, let go of the idea that there is such a thing as a “perfect” mother. There is no such thing! Every mother and every child is different. Some things may work for one family but not for another.

Here are some qualities of a good mother that you can strive for:

  • Patient: Patience truly is a virtue when you’re a mum. Kids will test your patience daily, but that doesn’t mean you should lose your cool. It’s crucial to model calm and collective behavior for your kids, so they know how to act in challenging situations. A patient’s mother can also take a step back and see the bigger picture.
  • Empathetic: Empathy allows you to see the world from your kid’s perspective and understand what might have prompted the behavior. Whether you’re dealing with a cranky toddler or a moody teenager, empathizing will help you maintain a good relationship. After all, how can you truly know your child if you can’t put yourself in his shoes?
  • Good Listener: When you are a good listener, you validate your child’s thoughts and feelings. You are giving them the tools to communicate. Listening can be when your child wants to share a picture they drew or a story from school. It can be when your teenager wants to talk about their day. Listening can also be when your adult child needs to vent about their job or relationship. Allow your children the space to express themselves. Just sitting down and having a conversation can make all the difference in the world for your kid.
  • Authoritative: Being an authoritative parent isn’t about being strict all the time. It’s about setting boundaries and expectations. Children need boundaries to explore in a safe environment. Find the balance between being nurturing and authoritative to provide your children with the guidance they need to become happy and successful adults.
  • Supportive: Good mothers are loving and supportive caregivers who respect their children’s individuality and strive to help them grow into happy, well-rounded adults. Don’t force your kids into what you want or like. You should encourage them to pursue their own hobbies and passions. Invest time and resources in their talents, passions, and interests.
  • Fun: Bills and responsibilities can weigh you down when you’re an adult. But a good mother knows how to take a step back and have fun. Play with your kids, whether it’s dolls, toy trucks, board games, or video games. Let them show you how to play their favorite game. Be silly and laugh until you cry. It is these moments that your kids will remember (and cherish) for the rest of their lives. So don’t be afraid to let your inner child out every once in a while; your kids will thank you for it!

The fact that you’re worried that you might be screwing up is a good sign. It just means that you want the best for your kids and will always look for ways to improve things. We are all flawed individuals, and that’s what makes us human. What’s important is that we do our best to love and care for our children — imperfections and all.

There are real joys in being a mum, too!

young mother working from home with daughter (1)

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. It begins with the unconditional love you feel for your child from the moment they are born. This love only grows as you watch them learn and grow. They teach you patience, laughter, and unconditional love. They also have a way of making even the mundane tasks of daily life seem fun. And when they finally learn to say “I love you,” it is truly one of the most special moments a parent can experience. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. And in the end, your children will make you a better person than you ever thought possible.

Final Thoughts

Being a mum is hard work, but it’s also one of the most rewarding jobs. There’s no one right way to be a perfect mum, and you don’t have to do it alone. So don’t beat yourself up if you can’t manage to keep your house perfectly clean or if you have to deal with your child throwing a tantrum in public. Take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the ride.

Hopefully, by sharing some things that have worked for us, we can help make your journey a little bit easier. And if you ever need a little help along the way, just comment below or share this post with another parent. We’re in this together!



I'm a Mom of two daughters, Freya and Ava. I love to share insights on how parents can be better parents. I write about topics that are relevant to me as a parent: things like parenting style, relationship, marriage, and balancing work and family.

Boss Parenting
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