10 Tips for Disciplining Your Child with Love
As parents, we all want to raise well-behaved children. But it can be difficult when our kids don’t listen or act out of line. How do you discipline your child without resorting to yelling and punishment? How should you respond when they throw a tantrum in the middle of Target?
What Is the Goal of Discipline?
Disciplining our children is a long-term investment. We want to teach them how to behave rather than punishing their misbehavior in the short term because discipline isn’t about one problem area – it’s all-encompassing. We have big goals for these little people who are growing up with us!
The idea of discipline being synonymous with punishment is ingrained in our psyche. The first thing we think of when we hear the word “discipline” is usually something negative. There are indeed some parents who do rely on punishments to teach their kids what they’re doing wrong; however, at its core, discipline should be about teaching children how best to control themselves without any form of corporal punishment.
This article provides a new way to discipline children. Instead of punishing them, parents can teach and guide their kids to set the behavior right. This approach is called “positive discipline.”
Show Them how To Set Things Right
Instead of pointing out what your child did wrong, focus on what needs to be done next. When children feel like they are being guided and shown the right way, they will learn how to do things themselves without having their parents always hovering over them.
Show Empathy and Respect
Instead of arguing back, we just need to stay calm and repeat what we said in a kind manner but very firmly. It also helps to show empathy. Just by empathizing with your child, you can win half the battle.
Sometimes when a child gets upset, we can just offer some empathy and move on. Other times it’s worth taking the time to help them feel in control again by providing choices. Not only is this good for their sense of self-control, but it also helps reduce anger which may lead to aggression later on. This is one of the most common positive discipline techniques recommended by experts.
As much as they enjoy making their own choices, be careful about what you offer. Once your child chooses one option, it’s important to stick with that choice so they can feel confident in the decision and not have any regrets.
Let Them Learn from Their Mistakes.
Children will often act out to get something they want. The best way for parents or guardians to address this is by teaching them the difference between wrong and right and exploring alternatives with them so that bad behavior doesn’t become a habit when it’s not being supervised.
When disciplining your child, you can’t forget that they are still a kid and won’t always know the consequences of their actions. Try not to launch into an angry lecture with them or get frustrated; instead, try using examples from past behavior for your message to resonate better. For example, “Do you remember the last time when Joey hit you? It made you mad/sad. Right?”
Understanding The Problem
Don’t always be so quick to blame your child for bad behavior. Before you get angry, think about the reasons they might have acted out in the first place and remember that it is often a symptom of something else going on with them – like feeling ignored or misunderstood by their parents.
Experts recommend playing with your child every day, one-on-one for 10 to 15 minutes in non-directed play. This can help offset hours upon hours of hounding you while you’re trying to get something done.
A lot of kids misbehave simply because they need more time for transitions. So, give them a warning or an idea before asking them to do something (“Five minutes left for playtime! And then we put our toys away.”).
Focus on The Positive
A parent’s response to their child’s behavior can shape how they behave when adults watch. The “attention principle” says that if parents only respond to negative behaviors, like tantrums, then those will increase.
Instead of yelling at them when they misbehave, take the time to point out how great it is that your child behaved well. This will show them that there are consequences for their actions and make them more likely to behave positively again next time around.
Be a Role Model to Your Kids
Children are very impressionable and have a keen ability to mimic what they see. When we scream at other drivers in traffic, it is no wonder that our kids push or shove each other when waiting in line for their turn.
The more we model how to react under the pressure of disappointment or sadness by yelling, the more likely children will feel compelled to do so, especially if this behavior gets rewarded with attention from us adults! Our emotional responses can be taught through modeling appropriate ways of coping emotionally with difficult situations.
We all know that parenting is not easy. The little one’s constantly testing us, and it can make you feel like everything will blow up if they don’t get what they want on the spot or when something doesn’t go their way. Sometimes we just need a minute to take deep breaths and calm down before making rash decisions about how best to proceed with them at this moment. Letting your child see you do these things helps put control back into balance for both of you by showing them there are other ways besides yelling or getting angry.
Teach Your Child Healthy Habits
As a parent, you are in charge of your child’s development. That means it is up to you how they spend their days and what kind of person they grow into. It also falls on parents to help them create healthy habits early on. When puberty hits – or even before then – those hard times will be less strenuous for them because good habits become second nature at an earlier age.
Be proactive by working with your child to create a daily schedule and list of responsibilities (including chores). This gives children much-needed structure and practice being self-disciplined through completing necessary tasks such as homework, taking out the trash, etcetera.
Be Firm with Your Children.
There’s a constant battle between parents and children. Children want to have their way, but that doesn’t mean they should always get it. Setting rules is one of the most important things for any child because without them in adulthood, he will struggle with consequences for his decisions, as well as others viewing him being an irresponsible adult.
As a parent, you need to be firm with these boundaries, or your son may not learn how to take responsibility and make good choices when faced with temptation later on down the road!
Don’t Resort to Spanking or Yelling.
Recent research suggests that spanking and yelling are ineffective at teaching children about their responsibilities. In addition, they can increase aggression in the child as well as hurt them during a struggle. This is why it’s crucial to find alternative ways of discipline when dealing with your kids!
According to the latest research, fear-based discipline is ineffective. Experts point out that prisons often rely on a disciplinary model of punishment and intimidation, which has never been shown to promote long-term behavioral change in inmates convicted of crimes such as murder or robbery. Fear-based punishments are not effective because they do nothing more than punish an individual for their bad behavior without teaching them how to make better choices going forward.
Have you tried any of these parenting strategies? If not, give them a try. They might be just what your family needs to get back on track and make life more enjoyable for everyone involved! We hope that our blog post has helped provide some insight into how discipline can work in both parents and children’s best interests. What do you think about this topic? Is it something that resonates with you, or does it seem like too much effort to put forth an extra bit of love rather than anger when disciplining your kids? Leave us a comment below, so we know what other topics are worth discussing!